Enderal:King Lewd and the Maidservant Devotia

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FormID
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6
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Locations
  • Ark, Dal Geyss' Estate
  • Castle Golden Ford, Atrium
  • Paladinfestung, Chronikum
  • Paladinfestung, Haupthalle
  • Paladinfestung, Quartier
  • Paladinfestung, Räume
  • Paladinfestung, Speisesaal
  • Riverville, Temple
  • Vyn - Enderal (1, 21) @ Z: 271.653381
King Lewd and the maidservant Devotia
by
Jornâs Schmied, desperate scholar

King Lewd: Call all servants of the castle, so that they rush, rush accroding to my wish, to help me out in my miserable condition.

Valet: Very miserable, my majesty, utterly miserable.

King Lewd: Let the one who has created the pathless piece of junk be beheaded tomorrow! I want to see his head roll, look at his dead eyes and abusively grin about his moribund face! This villain may not be allowed to get away just like that.

Valet: As you wish, your majesty, as you order.

King Lewd: He has brought shame upon his craft. I feel nothing but grief and utter rage for this charlatan! He was supposed to forge the King's armor, the glimmering royal plate. I have rewarded him with gold for this vicious piece of work! Behold, my valet, the harness will not open anymore. The hinge is jammed!

Valet: Oh, I can see very well what seems to be oppressing the king!

King Lewd: I am oppressed by the jammed hinge. Yet not only it oppresses my mind, it also oppresses the physical nature of my oh so comely body.

Valet: The King's jewels are oppressivley jammed by the jammed hinge.

King Lewd: Now call the rest of the servants, so that they may unjam the miserable condition once and for all.

Maidservant Devotia: Here I am, my great King!

King Lewd: Devotia!

Maidservant Devotia: Great King Lewd!

King Lewd: Behold, servants, the hinge. My crotch is clamped!

Valet: The King's glimmering crown jewels are cramped in their physical nature!

Maidservant Devotia: My lord, my lord, quite invidious the situation is. Recently I polished the lance of the fair knight Exhiberas, and my hands are still full of oil and grease! I would surely slip off trying to vent your chamber and to unjam the hinge.

King Lewd: I cannot unjam it myself, I need a stranger's hand.

Valet: Such a gruesome day, the bloodline is in danger! Who should be the childless King's heir if the jewels will not shine and be worthless after the unjamming?

King Lewd: What are you talking, valet? You doubt the expedience of the royal gold? I will prove otherwise! Devotia!

Maidservant Devotia: Yes, my great King?

King Lewd: If I look at you, the cramping gets more severe, as if the room in which the crown jewels are stored was shrinking!

Maidservant Devotia: Or the King's generosity and benevolence is growing while he is looking at his despicable maidservant!

King Lewd: Listen, valet! Unexpectedly great my royal generosity becomes. Behold! The hinge! It is opening by itself! The bolts are bursting, the screws are flying! It is blowing apart, and the King's crown jewels are free!