Difference between revisions of "Enderal:The Butcher of Ark, Volume 1: Follow the fire"

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{{Book
 
{{Book
|name=The Butcher of Ark, Volume 3: First Steps
+
|name=The Butcher of Ark, Volume 1: Follow the fire
|editorname=_00E_BookButcherOfArk03
+
|editorname=_00E_BookButcherOfArk01
|formid=0007B898
+
|formid=0010E66F
 
|type=Lore
 
|type=Lore
|value=40
+
|value=30
 
|weight=1.00
 
|weight=1.00
|locations=NPC: Sedrik Swiftfinger in Duneville, Prison
+
|locations=
* Ark, Foreign Quarter (-4, -3) @ Z: 2325.867920
+
* Ark, Bathhouse
* Ark, Sun Temple (-1, -1) @ Z: 8750.072266
+
* Ark, Erbgoth's Leather Goods
* Old Miskahmur
+
* Ark, The Fat Leoran
* Vyn - Enderal (-13, 3) @ Z: 2952.807129
+
* Riverville, Gatzidormatalata's House
* Vyn - Enderal (-2, 12) @ Z: 1914.768066
+
* The Drunken Bee
* Vyn - Enderal (-2, 17) @ Z: 72.198616
+
* Vyn - Enderal (-11, 2) @ Z: 1643.803589
* Yerai's Workshop
+
* Vyn - Enderal (-29, 0) @ Z: 3988.972900
 +
* Vyn - Enderal (-29, -5) @ Z: 936.378235
 
}}
 
}}
 
{{Book Series
 
{{Book Series
 
| series = The Butcher of Ark
 
| series = The Butcher of Ark
| previous=[[Enderal:The Butcher of Ark, Volume 2: The Nameless One| Volume 2 (The Nameless One)]]
+
| current =Volume 1 (Follow the fire)
| current =Volume 3 (First Steps)
+
| next = [[Enderal:The Butcher of Ark, Volume 2: The Nameless One|Volume 2 (The Nameless One)]]
| next=[[Enderal:The Butcher of Ark, Volume 4: Ashes| Volume 4 (Ashes)]]
+
 
}}
 
}}
==Chapter 3: First Steps==
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== Premise ==
  
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<span style = "font-size: 125%">T</span>hey call me "The Butcher".
  
The first days of my journey were an almost spiritual, yet not entirely pleasant experience. I felt as if I had lived my whole life wearing a veil over my eyes. The greater the distance to the bare cliff became, the more surreal the thought seemed to me that I had lived there for twenty-eight years ... as a priest. It almost seemed to me as if it had merely been a dream.
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It hurts to write these words, though I am aware of their truth. What else should a man be called whose trail is marked by dozens of corpses, corpses which are not mute witnesses of a battle or an accident, no, corpses which are solely the result of my own doing. Men, women, elders, children. Priests, merchants, travelers and whores. My murders seem to follow an inscrutable pattern whose arbitrariness will put an icy veil around everyone's heart. But of course this will not be what heralds will proclaim. For them and the Holy Order I will be no less than a monstrosity, a pathless demon, who has been led astray by his own mundane cravings. They will call me an evil man, a beast with a heart black as midnight. Because these are the colors in which the world prefers to think: black and white. No one will ask about the how and why. Even these pages will be hard to acquire, for the Holy Order will surely do everything in its power to prohibit their printing - which is why I shall congratulate you, whoever you may be, for holding them in your very own hands. With this assembly of withered pages you shall be given an insight into my very own thoughts.
  
After all, who was I?
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Do not understand them as a justification for my deeds, because this is not what they are. I assume full responsibility for what I have done and I desire no absolution, neither from Malphas - whose supposed "divinity" is something I nowadays merely smile upon -, nor from the people, from justice or some other strange, greater power whose true nature we have not yet learned to comprehend.
  
I was unable to find a satisfying answer to that question. If I did not end my foolish journey and return immediately, in the eyes of the Holy Order I would be a heretic, a pathless one, someone who had strayed from his way. The fact that I belonged to the cleric was only of minor concern. When I thought of Malphas and his 101 verses, doubt and bitterness intersected my feeling of liberation like a mental sword. Yet it felt the same when I thought about returning. The dull feeling in my stomach lurked inside of me. When on the second day of my journey I tried to take a few steps back to Fogville, the very same terrible panic arose that had led to the breakdown in my chamber. No ... The only way that I could take now was the one leading through my suppressed memories, away from my false life. I had not the slightest idea where to start looking for the lost fragments of my childhood. I had only been two years old when Gilmon had found me. What could have had happened to shape my life to such an extent? I had only one clue to find answers: the ominous words of the veiled woman. To trust these words was as foolish and irrational as trusting a Qyranian bone reader, but I had no choice.
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This book is no more than a testimony of strange and inscrutable happenings yonder, which have made me into what I am.
  
<span style = "font-size: 125%">Follow the fire ...</span>
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== Chapter 1: Follow the fire ==
  
I halted for a moment and wiped the sweat off my forhead. After I had descended from the Fogville cliff, I had taken a small path along the coast. Now I was at the border to the Heartland. Ark was about eleven days' march away, but I intended to use my last pennies to pay a Myrad flight to the capital. The overgrown streets leading through the Endralean forests were too dangerous. At the moment I wandered on a halfway paved path between colorful meadows. The sound of birds was in the air, and the sun was burning on the back of my neck. <span style = "font-size: 125%">You are insane, Jaél ... simply insane,</span> I thought, as I looked back. Indeed, what I did was contradicting everything the holy verses had taught me. Only about seven turns of the moon ago I had accompanied a small group of boys and girls of appropriate age through their consecration. I remembered how a smart, red-haired Aeterna girl spoke to me during one of the preparation lessons. Her hair was fine and straight, as it was usual with the pointy-eared race. "What if I did not want to become a tailoress?", she had asked me after I had explained the importance of their upcoming namesday's ceremony to the children.
+
It was a dull, cold and wet morning that should change my life forever. Yes... Somehow it almost seemed as if that day Mother Nature, as a response for the festivities of the preceding night, had decided to recover herself with a dreamy, nondescript day. The reason for the aforementioned festivities had been the so-called Star Summer Night, which every year marks the beginning of a new spring and in which the night sky is illuminated by dozens of wild, untamed starfires. While the common people, however, use the occasion to indulge in their mundane cravings - whether by drinking in smoky taverns, dancing around the first delve of spade, or having cultivated conversations on a masked ball -, for us clerics it means no less than a night filled with processions, sermons and prayer. After shortly attending the joyous speech of the mayor and giving my priestly blessing to the commencement of the festivities, I silently retreated into the temple and prayed until both my knees and my tongue were sore, just like the Holy Verses oblige every priest to do. It was of no significance whether the cleric was the High Priest in person or - as it was the case with me - merely a simple, insignificant Father in an even simpler and more insignificant village.
  
"What is your name, young girl?", I answered smilingly.
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Mine was called Fogville and was situated on a constantly windy, sparsely vegetated cliff at the very west of Enderal. It owed its name to - who would have guessed that? - the pale, thin wafts of mist which every morning laid themselves over the village's countenance like a mourning veil over the face of an old widow.
  
The determined look had not vanished from her eyes. "Syléna, Father. My name is Syléna."
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I still remember this last gaze yonder, which I threw upon the poor houses at the bottom of the hill the village's temple was enthroned upon. After the dissonant orchestration of lute music, animated laughter and popping of corks, an almost eerie silence had laid itself upon the village. Only here and there a lonesome figure could be seen and heard moving through the cool mist, and even the bakery's chimney remained still. I feebly smiled into the face of the village I had grown up in. My father, who actually wasn't my father, claimed to have found me wrapped in linen and lying in a basket near a wayshrine on the Mist Road. I had been abandoned, and the man who later became my father took me to the village, "full of devotion and grateful for the divine gift". However, before his untimely death, only ten years later, I never got rid of the feeling that his compassionate act was due to the fact that he found me right underneath a statue of Malphas, and not because of his wish for a child.
  
"Syléna ... very well. Let me give you a small riddle. Or rather, let me give you all a small riddle." She had furrowed her eyebrows and looked at me sceptically, more like a grown woman than a young girl. "Imagine yourselves as brave explorers. It is your holy mission, personally assigned to you by the holy leader of the Order, to discover new land far off the Skarrag isles ... just as the first pioneers did in Enderal." The helpless or bored looks in the faces of the children had been replaced by curiosity. Only Syléa still looked at me with determination and skepticism. "However," I said pointedly, raising my index finger, "a great disaster happens to you." I paused momentously.  
+
Gilmon the Tanner, as the villagers called him, was a delicate man with pockmarked skin and a slim nose. In his own opinion, the whole world conspired against him, which was the sole reason for his misery. We never talked much, but when we did, our conversations followed a general pattern. With his sawing voice, he called me to his fireplace room, where he rigidly sat most of the time, along with two empty tankards of beer. Then he indicated me to sit down and announced that he had "to get something off his chest." The fact that only his foundling son was there to listen was another proof for how badly life had treated him. It started right when I sat down. Tjalmar the Hunter had sold him rancid oils. An evil cutthroat, my father called him, but after all, it was in the nature of the Aeterna, he said, and in Enderal this fact was not as well known as in Nehrim. Or Matressa Zulja, who had served him bitter wine. A mean crone she was, he said, oh yes, but thanks to Malphas he had perceived her plan and cut her down to size. And then, of course, Rashik the Smith's twin boys. Rascals they were, both of them. No respect they had for path-abiding, hard-working people like him. But no manners were to be expected from a coal man and his breed. "What do they know about decency?", he said, excitedly. "These folks do nothing but shag until the bed breaks down." It did not matter to him that Rashik was a Qyran living in third generation in Enderal, and that he preferred a long-term union with his mate over the promiscuous family clans of his homeland.
  
"A thunderstorm. After only half the way, your galley is torn by a severe tempest. You are lucky as none of you is hurt, but you find yourselves on a wild, deserted island. There is nothing but thickets, cold sand and wreckage around you." With the exceoption of Syléa, all of them were drawn into my tale at that time.
+
These conversations, his persistently sour breath, and the smell of raw hides, leather and animal fats in the workshop made up a great deal of my childhood. Friends I had only a few to none, mostly due to the fact that my father made me work hard in the tannery as soon as I reached the age of five. If Mater Pyléa - I am sure of this now - had not by incident noticed my quick wit, I would still be there today, working between animal parts, stretched hides and slippery grease. Maybe the strange experience at that misty morning would have never happened. Yet she noticed, and that is how it came that on the day of my path consecration the aged priest proclaimed my holy path in a solemn voice. I, Jaél, Tanner's son, was predestined to entirely dedicate my life to Malphas' glory - as a priest. Of course, back then I did not fully comprehend what that meant, but the other children's awestruck reactions made me realize it was a good thing.
  
"You all know that if you want to survive, you need to act - at once. For not only bitter cold and hunger could be your doom ... You can hear a threatening growl from afar, a sound that only a wild Vatyr can bring forth." As I mentioned the hideous, goat-like creatures which usually live in dark and moist caves, some of the children uttered noises of disgust. "So you start collecting wood and building a camp. But soon you realize that some of you are better qualified for certain tasks than others. Ralof, for example, can carry twice as much wood as Syléna because of his strong physique. You, Gilma, are a gifted markswoman, because your father allowed you to practice with the straw dolls in the guard house at an early age. Now - who should keep the first watch and who should go looking for firewood?" All children agreed that Ralof was supposed to carry the wood and Gilma to keep the watch. The game went on until all tasks were assigned to the "pioneers" according to their physical and mental conditions.
+
Thus I left the bleak tannery and only entered the old house at the end of the village to sleep there. For my foster-father, the "child abduction" was only one more act of treason. Looking back, I think that the amiable Mater was the only real caregiver in my life. She taught me to read and write, and she taught me the essentials of herbal lore. With empathy and toughness she taught me what I needed to know to become part of the Endralean clergy. Ten winters later, I received priesthood and began to serve in the small temple. I did what an obedient priest had to do: I held services, I prayed, I maintained the temple and I heard the villager's confessions. Mater Pyléa left the village on her sixtieth namesday and moved to a retirement quarter in the Sun Temple of the capital, which I only knew from tales. A year later my father passed away, an event that, to my surprise, affected me deeply. Then, everything became lethargic routine, until that very day.
  
"Well. But now something bothersome happens: Ralof feels exploited and does not want to collect any more firewood." The said boy looked indignantly at me, but I calmed him with a gesture of my hand. "Of course he behaves like this only in my story. By all means, he does not want to go looking for firewood anymore. He says he wants to keep watch with Gilma, even though all of you know that he would not be able to hit a blind, paralyzed Troll with his bow. Now my question to you is this: What would be best for all of you? If Ralof came to reason or if he from now on kept watch and Gilma collected the wood instead?" The children voted unanimously for the first choice.
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The man that I was then - was he a happy man? I am not able to tell. When I try to recall the first twenty-eight years of my life, my memories seem to be like fading words on an old parchment. My reason tells me that I was blessed, in a way. The life of a priest was pleasant and constant, without highs and lows. I had enough to eat, I had a home and enough pennies to afford the services of a wandering whore from time to time. I knew that, according to the Holy Verses, at the end of my days I would enter the Eternal Paths, my Path trodden, my task fulfilled. But things turned out differently.
  
"Very well. Only this way you will be able to defy Vatyrs, hunger and cold on the inhospitable island until a galley arrives and brings you back to Enderal. This is the essence of what the Holy Scripture teaches us: Unity and strength can only emerge in a community that serves the welfare of all and not only of an individual. Malphas himself chooses our divine tasks, for who else knows our strengths and weaknesses better than the one who gives our mothers the gift of fertility each moon? With a satisfied smile my gaze wandered back to the one who initially had asked the question."
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After I had taken off my robes and wearily laid down under the sheet of sheep's wool, I noticed a strange and dull feeling in my stomach. Today I know that this unremarkable moment was the first time I encountered the fire. It was small, insignificant, only a weak glow, but it was there, knowing that I would wake up as a different man. However, on this gray morning I was too tired to pay attention to it. Exhausted, I wrapped my sheet around myself and was fast asleep a moment later.
  
"And that, dear Syléna, is the answer to your question. Even if you have doubts about the path that Malphas is soon going to choose for you, defy them as you defy a disease, for only a people united in flesh and mind will be able to prevail eternally." The children's answer was rapt silence. Syléna, however, had not lost her skeptical look after I had told my story that was inspired by the first verse of the Path.
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I awoke in a dream.
  
<span style = "font-size: 125%">The Path</span> ... Had I ever believed in it? I did not know. It was what Mother Pylea had told me. It was what I was supposed to believe. <span style = "font-size: 125%">If even I, an educated man with access to so much knowledge, was able to discover the decayed memories of childhood only after a vision ... what about other people? Do they all live a ... false life? But if,</span> it shot through my head, <span style = "font-size: 125%">the Path is indeed a lie ... what ... what then guides us?</span> This heretic thought kept me busy until the sun set.
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I found myself on an idyllic forest glade, surrounded by green oak trees, whose leaves were moved gently by the wind. The setting sun stood at the horizon like molten blaze and threw a red light over the scenery. I savored the spicy, fresh air, which tasted of wet moss, morning dew and old secrets, mysterious, wild and clear, like life itself. In contrast to what we all know from the nightly journeys that we call dreams, I was fully aware of the unreality of the scenery. So I accepted it as if it was as natural as time's passing. I was stark naked, as on the day of my birth, but I was not ashamed. On the contrary: I felt strong, clear and free.
  
Not before the sun had disappeared almost entirely behind the horizon I recognized signs of human life on the trail again. Like the four days before, I had been wandering through pines and cypresses, encountering no human soul. But now a giant field of wheat lay before me, and in the middle of it stood a windmill high as a tower. Its wheel turned slowly in the evening wind and a mixture of dusty earth, moss and freshly cut grass was in the air. For a moment the rustic beauty of the sight made me forget my aching legs and the dull feeling in my stomach. <span style = "font-size: 125%">People.</span>
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When I took my eyes away from the sky and looked in front of me, I saw her. She stood in an old ruin that was overgrown with ivy and whose collapsed walls and arches told of ancient times. She wore a gray, flowing robe that only allowed a glimpse of her femininity beneath. Her hood hung deeply over her face so that only the tender and delicate parts of her cheeks and chin were visible - a sight that could have come from the imagination of a Qyranian painter. Her dense, midnight black hair was tied into snake-like braids and fell down to her shoulders. Various things were interwoven in her hair: old, faded coins that must have been minted by lost civilizations; small, finely polished bones from animals unknown to us; and strange ribbons whose colorful threads created an artful pattern. But it was not all this that hypnotized me and drew me towards the veiled figure in the ruin. It was her smile. With every step I took towards her, I fell deeper into its charm. It was not a lovely smile, as some might assume. It was a mixture of melancholy, rage, hope and love, a symphony of contradicting feelings which I thought to be irreconcilable. It was a smile that was able to speak great wisdom as much as orders that would mean the death of thousands. A smile born from truths recognized in otherworldly existences. Cold sweat ran from my pores, and I felt how apprehensiveness mixed with the peaceful bliss of the moment just gone.
  
Despite my fatigue I accelerated my steps and soon came to a paved road that was winding between the hills which were overgrown with wheat. After a short while I found what I had been looking for: a shelter. It was full night now, and the orange light that was streaming out of the windows of the old, ivy-covered farmhouse promised protection and rest. A smile lightened up my face and I sighed in relief without noticing it. During the last nights I had rested in small caverns which my back, which was used to my soft bed, did not approve of. <span style = "font-size: 125%">A warm meal ...</span> Suddenly, two horses in full gallop dashed past me. Refelxively, I jumped to the side, and the flank of one of the horses barely missed me. I uttered a scared cry and stumbled as I tried to regain my balance. I landed in the dust with a muffled thud. <span style = "font-size: 125%">What in blazes!?</span> Indignantly I looked at the two riders who came to a halt in front of me. They both were very tall and wore solid leather garments, just like hunters. Their horses were black, indicating an expensive breed. Angrily I watched them dismounting, throwing a penny to a slender boy who probably was the stable lad, and disappearing into the tavern. Even then, I hated complacent and crude people. Did these two apes even realize that they almost had run me down? <span style = "font-size: 125%">Probably not. And if they did, they would not even look at you.</span> My lips shrank to a thin line. <span style = "font-size: 125%">Damn primitives.</span>
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I came to a halt a few steps before her, still staring at her magical smile like a starving man at a feast. For a moment I believed to recognize a glimpse of mirth in her features. But it faded away as fast as it had appeared. Then she began to speak. "You are dying, Jaél." Her voice was rough and tender at the same time, full of contrast. She spoke without mockery, pity or cruelty.
  
But my mind was too exhausted to allow any more angry thoughts. So I shrugged resignedly, picked up my staff from the ground and went to the farmhouse. An overwhelming scent of freshly baked bread filled the air, and my anger was gone. One last time I looked at the tavern sign that was shaking in the wind. <span style = "font-size: 125%">The Red Ox.</span> This is where I was going to spend the first "civilized" night of my new life.
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"Why?", I heard myself responding mechanically. "I am in the best of health." My answer was as pathetic and clumsy as it must appear to the reader of these yellowed pages, but I spoke them faster than I was able to think, without control. The woman nodded subtly, as if she had expected this very response.
  
When I entered the tavern I could hear a pleasant mixture of voices, clanking goblets and crackling fire. The cold left my limbs immediately and my mouth was watering. During my long march, I had only eaten some pieces of my bread and a few handful of whisperweed, so I was hungry. The tavern was well-frequented which explained the empty streets outside. I assumed that it served as some kind of meeting point for the local farmers. There was space for about thirty souls in the room, and almost all of the chairs, stools and benches were occupied. Torches lit the room and cast dancing shadows of the guests at the walls. I mustered the people. Next to the entrance a tired looking man extensively studied a yellowed picture book called "The Merry Aeterna Damsel". Its saucy images looked as if they were not exclusively drawn for ethnologists. A bearded bard tuned his lute on a shamefully tiny pedestal. He was probably preparing to sing his next song which would be devoured by the noise around him. Just in front of me sat an enviable attractive, well-dressed man who talked to a woman whose countenance showed utter devotion. I estimated him to be thirty-five winters old. His hair was jet-black, his face was masculine yet delicate, and he wore a three-day stubble. Unwittingly, I distorted my mouth. <span style = "font-size: 125%">Certainly he is a one of the prigs from the upper city. One of those who shag around and waste their inheritance.</span> When I had finished the thought, the beau noticed my staring. For a moment he looked at me with sparkling eyes and smiled, fetching and narcissistic at the same time. Then he turned back to his admirer. The other guests were travelers and farmers of all sorts, man and woman, young and old, tall and short. I felt misplaced, like a northman on a Qyranian bazar, strange and uneasy among the rough people to which I did not belong.
+
"You affirm that you are of good health", she paraphrased my words with a peculiar intonation. "But you fail to perceive the fabric of this world in all its intricacy." Slowly and regretfully, she shook her head, like a Magistra in the monastery school who got a foolish answer from a novice to a very simple question. Then she took her hands out of the robe's sleeves and indicated me to follow her. Even her walk had something of another world about it. Her body did not move with her steps, but seemed to float. Silent and obedient, I followed her through the old ruin. Today, after I had gone through the vision in my thoughts many thousand times, I know that it was an old trading post. The walls and the rusty gate left no doubt about it. - But in the vision, I did not care about such banalities. To follow the figure in front of me was my sole purpose. She stopped in front of an old, overgrown tower, presumably once the heart of the ruin, and opened the cast-iron door, which swung aside in an eerie, silent manner.
  
Hastily, I went to the counter which was placed underneath a lower part of the ceiling and behind which various barrels and liquors were lined up. I was just about to speak as I noticed the two clumsy figures who were sitting on the high stools. <span style = "font-size: 125%">The two apes.</span> Now I had time to muster them. One of them wore a full beard and two strange earrings which gave him the appearance of a buccaneer. His chum had no beard, but he also had a chin that could shatter walls made of Northwind stone. For a moment I felt the urge to grab the mug in front of me and pour beer into their faces. However, the idea vanished when the two noticed me. Unwittingly, I duck my head as they gave me an amused look and turned their attention back to their stew. <span style = "font-size: 125%">They have not even recognized me.</span> With a slight nod of my head I summoned the barmaid who was cleaning mugs behind the counter. She came closer, sized me up and gave me an amused look. "Matris? What may I get you?" she said with a rough voice. <span style = "font-size: 125%">At least she has the decency to address me as an urban citizen.</span> I tried not to show my inner turmoil.
+
"Go, Jaél", she said. "Go and perceive the truth." These were the last words I heard until the horrid discovery inside the ruin. For when I was about to reply, she was gone. For the first time, a feeling of uncertainty mingled with the confidence that I had at the beginning of the vision. I was still aware of the fact that my physical body was lying on a bed in a modest chamber, in another world. Also I knew that I could decide to wake from the wonderful and terrible vision. But I did not. Why? - I am unable to say. Was it out of curiosity? Was it the sense of fate that covered the ruin like a thin, transcendent sleeve? I don't know.
  
"A glass of goat's milk, please."
+
I entered. The floor felt cold under my naked feet, and the dusty air that was only lit by a pale red sunbeam made me cough as it filled my lungs. The inside was almost empty, except for spiderwebs, weathered furniture and broken stones that had fallen from the crumbling walls. In the middle there was a wooden construction, an extraordinarily large, upright box. Hesitantly, I walked closer. A word came to my head, but faded from my mind as fast as it had appeared. I recognized how the fire of the setting sun extinguished and how it was replaced by a dull blue. Gentle, hazy fog started to cover the scenery, and everything that was peaceful and blessed before I entered the ruin was replaced by a sense of trepidation. Creeping, cold, wasting.
  
I was trying to sound masculine and confident, but my voice, coarse and untrained after four days of silence, was a pitiful croak. The reactions could not have been more intense had I asked for the crown jewels of the Golden Queen. While the barmaid only smiled and shook her head in sympathy, the two primitives next to me broke out laughing heavily. "Goat's milk", one of them roared, padding his comrade's shoulder. "He wants a glass of goat's milk!" I stared at the giant with a mixture of irritation and defiance. I probably could have avoided the further events of the evening if I had not responded. Even though numerous snappy answers wandered around in my head, the one I finally gave them, my arms crossed in front of my chest, was pathetic.
+
My hand moved along the surface of the strange box that was slightly taller than me. The wood was decayed and gray, and an odd smell came from it, like iron. It was sweet and tempting, but at the same time repellant. <span style = "font-size: 125%" >Leave!</span>, flashed through my head. <span style = "font-size: 125%" >Leave before you inflame it.</span> I was unable to determine if it was I who thought these thoughts. But of course, I did not leave. Slowly my hand moved toward a gap at the side the of the box that allowed me to open its lid. As the hinge opened with a reluctant, mourning sound, I remembered the word that had slipped my mind. This time it did not vanish, it preserved in all its dreadfulness. The wooden construction in the middle of this abandoned ruin was no box. It was a coffin.
  
"Yes, goat's milk", I said with a shaking voice. "Do you have a problem with it?" This seemed to intensify the amusement of the apes. This time their laughter was so loud that even the bearded bard stopped playing the lute and, as many other guests, turned his insulted yet curious gaze toward the counter. After they had finished laughing and padding each other's shoulders affirmatively, the buccaneer spoke to me. "By no means, Matris!" he said with a sympathetic face. "It's just ... Unfortunately, the tavern is out of goat's milk." He paused for a while, grinning. "Maybe you want to try the harlot's inn in the bathhouse of Ark." This time they almost burst with laughter. I felt fierce anger arise in me. Never since I had become a priest I was treated with such disrespect. Never! "I will do that when I visit you next time in the apes' compound."
+
Even today I can hardly find the right words for the terror that stared at me from the decomposing inside of the coffin. Without any doubt, the creature before my very eyes was myself. There it was, the brown hair, thinning, even at the age of twenty-eight. There it was, the well-trimmed, dense beard that grew down to my chest, the beard that I grew to hide my unremarkable, longish face. And there it was, the crooked nose, giving my face a vulture-like appearance, making me avoid my own reflection in the mirror. But the body in the coffin was dead, clenched like in the moment of dying. Penned in like cattle, his head was pressed down to his shoulders by the small dimensions of the coffin, his unnatural posture a silent accusation. His body was pinched, his arms pressed to himself in a twisted manner. Much more gruesome, though, was the face. The skin was pale and had a greenish gray color like decayed tombstones. There were many deep fissures that were not bleeding, but displaying bare flesh and white bones. The beard was curly and wild, and maggots moved around in the tangled mesh, oozing a festering, doughy liquid that was dripping down to the stone floor. The man's cheeks were hollow, and his lacerated lips were opened in a twisted way that gave the impression of a tormented smile. His teeth were rotten and his tongue gray. But none of this was the reason for the bloodcurdling, panic-fuelled cry that escaped my throat. It was the eyes. Or, rather, it was the place where the eyes used to be on a healthy, living person.
  
I froze up. The snappish response had come from my mouth faster than I was thinking, and I had the feeling that the cheerful atmosphere around the two churls faded away. From the corner of my eye I saw that almost half of the guests followed the events apprehensively. <span style = "font-size: 125%">You damn idiot. You damn, miserable idiot.</span> For a moment, the eyes of the buccaneer and his chum narrowed to a slit. Then the visible anger left their faces and was replaced by a livid feistiness.
+
But there were no eyes. Weak and pale like shrouds, the lids, devoid of any sense, hung over gaping black sockets. Contradicting any logic, they seemed to stare at me, whispering, rotting, and dead. The same festering liquid that came from the man's beard trickled down the brows and disappeared in the empty eye sockets. No... No words can describe the terror that filled me when I looked at that deformed creature.
  
"Well, well", he finally started, now with an obviously vicious voice. "So you are a real badass." I wanted to take a step backwards, but the buccaneer had grabbed my wrist with his strong right hand. His grip was hard and firm and his fingers were crude and full of calluses. I felt cold sweat breaking out all over my body. I realized that the man was primitive but dangerous. Half-heartedly, I tried to escape his grip - a convulsion that the two men ignored completely. "I ... I am sorry", I stuttered helplessly. I had just finished my sentence when the gorilla pressed his hand on my mouth. He pointedly glanced at his chum, who sneered even more. "I like brave people. But you seem to be exhausted from your long journey." I saw how the other man pushed something to him on the counter. "So how about a little refreshment?"
+
In panic, I hit the withered copy of myself, but I only loosened the body so it fell right toward me. I felt how the repellent, festering corpse water from the beard touched my lips, while a handful of maggots landed on my shoulder. For a short moment I was petrified. I held myself in my arms, like a twin his own deceased brother. But this was no twin. When the maggots tried to move up my neck, I pushed the corpse away with a shrill cry, wiped away the maggots and fled out of the ruin.
  
With his last word he removed his hand from my mouth, quickly grabbed the bowl and poured its content over my head. It was stew, and if the encounter had occurred a few minutes earlier, the broth would probably have scalded my skin. Nevertheless, I was covered in hot, sticky slime. I was shocked and I gasped for air so that some of the broth got into my windpipe. I broke down and panted, coughing out the liquid. The meaty brew dripped down my hair, and some of it found its way into my garment, running down my spine. I heard roaring laughter around me. I was certain that most of it came from the buccaneer and his chum, but some of those who had watched the events before were laughing now as well. I felt how my stomach cramped and shame rose up in me. There I was, broken down, coughing stew, the laughing stock. I had an impulse to jump up and grab the buccaneer's throat, but my reason suppressed it instantly. I was deeply humiliated, but I had no death wish. So I tried to raise myself up in a controlled and dignified manner and removed pieces of meat from my clothes. Indeed, my indifference and serenity would be enough of a lesson for the two brutes. I gathered all my priestly courage and turned around. They looked at me, amused and challenging. <span style = "font-size: 125%">They want me to keep acting defiantly,</span> I thought. <span style = "font-size: 125%">The want me to keep provoking them.</span> I did not stand the slightest chance against any of them in close combat, that was for sure. After all, I had as much knowledge about brawls as a troll about hair care. <span style = "font-size: 125%">Just leave, Jaél. Leave and swallow down you damn pride.</span> I peered at the crowd. Most of the guests had returned to their meals or conversations. Only a few of them still looked at me expectantly, among them the black-haired beau. Nobody seemed to despise the impudence of the two men at all. Abruptly I realized what had protected me from events like this my entire life: My priest's robe. It had been the only reason why the other boys had stopped mocking me after my consecration. And probably it was the only reason why everyone lowered their heads devoutly or at least had the decency not to pour stew on me when I entered a tavern! <span style = "font-size: 125%">You are a nobody, Jaél. Without your priest's robe you are just another common man, neither big nor slim, neither old nor young, neither ugly nor handsome.</span> Meaningless.</span> For a brief moment I felt the urge to draw the priest's brooch, which I had not had the heart to leave behind, from my bag. Oh, how they would look at me, the primitives. They would begin to recite the Prayer of the Path with eyes widened by fear, asking me for forgiveness. <span style = "font-size: 125%">They would respect me</span> what you represent,</span> <span style = "font-size: 125%">yes, they would bow their head in reverence because they</span> fear the power of the Holy Order.</span> Of course they would. To disregard a priest of the Path was a capital crime, and only a fool would risk such a punishment ...
+
Meanwhile, it was night, and the full moon stood cold, white and unmoving at the sky. The veil of mist that formed inside the ruin faded as soon as I came outside and let myself fall to the ground, crying and breathing heavily. <span style = "font-size: 125%" >I am dead,</span> flashed through my mind, again and again. <span style = "font-size: 125%" >DEAD!</span> I uttered a panicky scream, a pitiful effort to banish the madness from my mind. The terror remained, it was omnipresent, and I felt bitter tears making their way through my eyes. <span style = "font-size: 125%" >What, by the righteous path, does it mean? What kind of nightmare am I trapped in?</span> Some might ask why I did not end the vision with the well-known physical stimulus, by pinching myself, even more so because I was fully aware of the unreality of what was happening. The answer is, I was unable to do it, and I knew it. What I went through was not one of the usual, nightly phantasms that occasionally haunt us in the quiet hours. Something that I later began to understand at least a little wanted to show me something, and I was unable to escape the truth, as little as man can escape the sands of time. As I turned my gaze from the floor and started to crouch toward the stone arch and the forest, weeping helplessly, I saw her again. The veiled woman. She stood above me and stared down at me, almost with sympathy. At least I assumed so, because despite the angle of my view, I was unable to recognize anything above her cheeks but the unnatural shadow of her hood.
  
No. To reveal myself as a priest would not only mean to rely on the authority of others, but also to return to my false life. I already felt my stomach contracting warningly.
+
"What are you?", I brought forth in a weak voice. "What by the Black Guardian's name are you? A demon? An angel of death?" It sounded pathetic, like the lament of a desperate child.
  
I had to comply. So I took a deep breath and swallowed my fervent shame. Ignoring the mocking glances of the buccaneers, I silently gave the barmaid a sign that I wanted a room for the night. I had no desire for a meal anymore, even less in the presence of those who had witnessed my humiliation. The barmaid nodded pitifully and told an old man, who sat quietly at the counter and looked undefinably at me, to show me the way. In silence, I followed the old man up to the room. Only when I stood in front of the room's door, I felt how the malice of the brutes, which cut like a sword in my back, began to wane. I gave the old man five pennies and he handed me the key, a burning candle and a cloth for cleaning, which was probably meant as a benevolent gesture, but only intensified my shame. I turned around silently, entered my chamber and locked the door behind me. Then my anger overcame me like a flood. Without taking notice of the bed, I went to the window and stared into the rain. I uttered a suppressed shout, closed my eyes and clawed both my hands into the window ledge. By the black Guardian, I was angry! Of course the rational part of me knew that I had got off cheaply. - In other, rougher taverns people left a brawl with a broken arm or worse. However, I was unwilling to accept the events and put them aside. Did these men have no respect? This kind of scum deserved to be hanged, flayed and skinned, like brigands and marauders, preferably in public. My jaw cramped and I noticed how the feeling in my stomach had started to change. The dull feeling of insecurity had transformed into a flaming rage, paired with an iron determination. <span style = "font-size: 125%">I will not begin my new life in disgrace.</span> I opened my eyes again and looked at the candle that the innkeeper had given to me. The flame burned and crackled, and in a strange way its fire strengthened my determination. I wanted to teach the two apes a lesson, even if it was the last thing I did in my life. But how? <span style = "font-size: 125%">What can I do except for preaching, reading books and</span> mixing herbs?</span>
+
"You ask me what I am", she answered again, an echo of my pitiful words. "And you assume I am a black angel of your god, come upon you to punish you. But" - a touch of maternal tenderness accompanied her rough voice - "you ask the wrong question, Jaél. For who I am is not of importance."
 +
 
 +
For a moment I stared at her in confusion, unable to react to her enigmatic answer. I remained at the floor for a while, motionless, breathing frantically and panicky, looking at the veiled woman. After what felt like an eternity, I asked the question that needed to be asked.
 +
 
 +
"And what... what is the right question?"
 +
 
 +
For a brief moment, I saw what seemed to be a sad smile caress her red lips. "You inquire from me what only you can answer", she said and began to walk towards the stone arch. "And I want to give you an advice." She halted, looking like an unreal shape in the silver of the night. "An advice on how you can avoid the death of your soul." There was a moment of silence. "End your false life. And follow the fire."
 +
 
 +
Then the vision broke apart.
  
I halted. <span style = "font-size: 125%">Yes ...</span> Now I was almost grateful that the two disrespectful primitives had crossed my way, right here and right now. A malicious grin bloomed on my lips, and I turned my gaze back to the window. For a short moment I marveled about the man who looked at me from the silent glass. His pale blue eyes looked like burning ice, a contradiction that seemed to be as natural to him as the fire of the sun in autumn twilight. He did not resemble the cringing priest anymore who had given the blessing to washwomen only a week ago. Yes, the man emitted something like ... power. Determination. Fire.</span>
 
 
== Related ==
 
== Related ==
  

Revision as of 19:50, 10 September 2016

The Butcher of Ark, Volume 1: Follow the fire
(FormID: 0010E66F)
Editor Name _00E_BookButcherOfArk01
Type Lore FormID 0010E66F
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Rank Editor Name FormID EN-Cost.png
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Locations
  • Ark, Bathhouse
  • Ark, Erbgoth's Leather Goods
  • Ark, The Fat Leoran
  • Riverville, Gatzidormatalata's House
  • The Drunken Bee
  • Vyn - Enderal (-11, 2) @ Z: 1643.803589
  • Vyn - Enderal (-29, 0) @ Z: 3988.972900
  • Vyn - Enderal (-29, -5) @ Z: 936.378235
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The Butcher of Ark

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Previous:
-

Current:
Volume 1 (Follow the fire)

Premise

They call me "The Butcher".

It hurts to write these words, though I am aware of their truth. What else should a man be called whose trail is marked by dozens of corpses, corpses which are not mute witnesses of a battle or an accident, no, corpses which are solely the result of my own doing. Men, women, elders, children. Priests, merchants, travelers and whores. My murders seem to follow an inscrutable pattern whose arbitrariness will put an icy veil around everyone's heart. But of course this will not be what heralds will proclaim. For them and the Holy Order I will be no less than a monstrosity, a pathless demon, who has been led astray by his own mundane cravings. They will call me an evil man, a beast with a heart black as midnight. Because these are the colors in which the world prefers to think: black and white. No one will ask about the how and why. Even these pages will be hard to acquire, for the Holy Order will surely do everything in its power to prohibit their printing - which is why I shall congratulate you, whoever you may be, for holding them in your very own hands. With this assembly of withered pages you shall be given an insight into my very own thoughts.

Do not understand them as a justification for my deeds, because this is not what they are. I assume full responsibility for what I have done and I desire no absolution, neither from Malphas - whose supposed "divinity" is something I nowadays merely smile upon -, nor from the people, from justice or some other strange, greater power whose true nature we have not yet learned to comprehend.

This book is no more than a testimony of strange and inscrutable happenings yonder, which have made me into what I am.

Chapter 1: Follow the fire

It was a dull, cold and wet morning that should change my life forever. Yes... Somehow it almost seemed as if that day Mother Nature, as a response for the festivities of the preceding night, had decided to recover herself with a dreamy, nondescript day. The reason for the aforementioned festivities had been the so-called Star Summer Night, which every year marks the beginning of a new spring and in which the night sky is illuminated by dozens of wild, untamed starfires. While the common people, however, use the occasion to indulge in their mundane cravings - whether by drinking in smoky taverns, dancing around the first delve of spade, or having cultivated conversations on a masked ball -, for us clerics it means no less than a night filled with processions, sermons and prayer. After shortly attending the joyous speech of the mayor and giving my priestly blessing to the commencement of the festivities, I silently retreated into the temple and prayed until both my knees and my tongue were sore, just like the Holy Verses oblige every priest to do. It was of no significance whether the cleric was the High Priest in person or - as it was the case with me - merely a simple, insignificant Father in an even simpler and more insignificant village.

Mine was called Fogville and was situated on a constantly windy, sparsely vegetated cliff at the very west of Enderal. It owed its name to - who would have guessed that? - the pale, thin wafts of mist which every morning laid themselves over the village's countenance like a mourning veil over the face of an old widow.

I still remember this last gaze yonder, which I threw upon the poor houses at the bottom of the hill the village's temple was enthroned upon. After the dissonant orchestration of lute music, animated laughter and popping of corks, an almost eerie silence had laid itself upon the village. Only here and there a lonesome figure could be seen and heard moving through the cool mist, and even the bakery's chimney remained still. I feebly smiled into the face of the village I had grown up in. My father, who actually wasn't my father, claimed to have found me wrapped in linen and lying in a basket near a wayshrine on the Mist Road. I had been abandoned, and the man who later became my father took me to the village, "full of devotion and grateful for the divine gift". However, before his untimely death, only ten years later, I never got rid of the feeling that his compassionate act was due to the fact that he found me right underneath a statue of Malphas, and not because of his wish for a child.

Gilmon the Tanner, as the villagers called him, was a delicate man with pockmarked skin and a slim nose. In his own opinion, the whole world conspired against him, which was the sole reason for his misery. We never talked much, but when we did, our conversations followed a general pattern. With his sawing voice, he called me to his fireplace room, where he rigidly sat most of the time, along with two empty tankards of beer. Then he indicated me to sit down and announced that he had "to get something off his chest." The fact that only his foundling son was there to listen was another proof for how badly life had treated him. It started right when I sat down. Tjalmar the Hunter had sold him rancid oils. An evil cutthroat, my father called him, but after all, it was in the nature of the Aeterna, he said, and in Enderal this fact was not as well known as in Nehrim. Or Matressa Zulja, who had served him bitter wine. A mean crone she was, he said, oh yes, but thanks to Malphas he had perceived her plan and cut her down to size. And then, of course, Rashik the Smith's twin boys. Rascals they were, both of them. No respect they had for path-abiding, hard-working people like him. But no manners were to be expected from a coal man and his breed. "What do they know about decency?", he said, excitedly. "These folks do nothing but shag until the bed breaks down." It did not matter to him that Rashik was a Qyran living in third generation in Enderal, and that he preferred a long-term union with his mate over the promiscuous family clans of his homeland.

These conversations, his persistently sour breath, and the smell of raw hides, leather and animal fats in the workshop made up a great deal of my childhood. Friends I had only a few to none, mostly due to the fact that my father made me work hard in the tannery as soon as I reached the age of five. If Mater Pyléa - I am sure of this now - had not by incident noticed my quick wit, I would still be there today, working between animal parts, stretched hides and slippery grease. Maybe the strange experience at that misty morning would have never happened. Yet she noticed, and that is how it came that on the day of my path consecration the aged priest proclaimed my holy path in a solemn voice. I, Jaél, Tanner's son, was predestined to entirely dedicate my life to Malphas' glory - as a priest. Of course, back then I did not fully comprehend what that meant, but the other children's awestruck reactions made me realize it was a good thing.

Thus I left the bleak tannery and only entered the old house at the end of the village to sleep there. For my foster-father, the "child abduction" was only one more act of treason. Looking back, I think that the amiable Mater was the only real caregiver in my life. She taught me to read and write, and she taught me the essentials of herbal lore. With empathy and toughness she taught me what I needed to know to become part of the Endralean clergy. Ten winters later, I received priesthood and began to serve in the small temple. I did what an obedient priest had to do: I held services, I prayed, I maintained the temple and I heard the villager's confessions. Mater Pyléa left the village on her sixtieth namesday and moved to a retirement quarter in the Sun Temple of the capital, which I only knew from tales. A year later my father passed away, an event that, to my surprise, affected me deeply. Then, everything became lethargic routine, until that very day.

The man that I was then - was he a happy man? I am not able to tell. When I try to recall the first twenty-eight years of my life, my memories seem to be like fading words on an old parchment. My reason tells me that I was blessed, in a way. The life of a priest was pleasant and constant, without highs and lows. I had enough to eat, I had a home and enough pennies to afford the services of a wandering whore from time to time. I knew that, according to the Holy Verses, at the end of my days I would enter the Eternal Paths, my Path trodden, my task fulfilled. But things turned out differently.

After I had taken off my robes and wearily laid down under the sheet of sheep's wool, I noticed a strange and dull feeling in my stomach. Today I know that this unremarkable moment was the first time I encountered the fire. It was small, insignificant, only a weak glow, but it was there, knowing that I would wake up as a different man. However, on this gray morning I was too tired to pay attention to it. Exhausted, I wrapped my sheet around myself and was fast asleep a moment later.

I awoke in a dream.

I found myself on an idyllic forest glade, surrounded by green oak trees, whose leaves were moved gently by the wind. The setting sun stood at the horizon like molten blaze and threw a red light over the scenery. I savored the spicy, fresh air, which tasted of wet moss, morning dew and old secrets, mysterious, wild and clear, like life itself. In contrast to what we all know from the nightly journeys that we call dreams, I was fully aware of the unreality of the scenery. So I accepted it as if it was as natural as time's passing. I was stark naked, as on the day of my birth, but I was not ashamed. On the contrary: I felt strong, clear and free.

When I took my eyes away from the sky and looked in front of me, I saw her. She stood in an old ruin that was overgrown with ivy and whose collapsed walls and arches told of ancient times. She wore a gray, flowing robe that only allowed a glimpse of her femininity beneath. Her hood hung deeply over her face so that only the tender and delicate parts of her cheeks and chin were visible - a sight that could have come from the imagination of a Qyranian painter. Her dense, midnight black hair was tied into snake-like braids and fell down to her shoulders. Various things were interwoven in her hair: old, faded coins that must have been minted by lost civilizations; small, finely polished bones from animals unknown to us; and strange ribbons whose colorful threads created an artful pattern. But it was not all this that hypnotized me and drew me towards the veiled figure in the ruin. It was her smile. With every step I took towards her, I fell deeper into its charm. It was not a lovely smile, as some might assume. It was a mixture of melancholy, rage, hope and love, a symphony of contradicting feelings which I thought to be irreconcilable. It was a smile that was able to speak great wisdom as much as orders that would mean the death of thousands. A smile born from truths recognized in otherworldly existences. Cold sweat ran from my pores, and I felt how apprehensiveness mixed with the peaceful bliss of the moment just gone.

I came to a halt a few steps before her, still staring at her magical smile like a starving man at a feast. For a moment I believed to recognize a glimpse of mirth in her features. But it faded away as fast as it had appeared. Then she began to speak. "You are dying, Jaél." Her voice was rough and tender at the same time, full of contrast. She spoke without mockery, pity or cruelty.

"Why?", I heard myself responding mechanically. "I am in the best of health." My answer was as pathetic and clumsy as it must appear to the reader of these yellowed pages, but I spoke them faster than I was able to think, without control. The woman nodded subtly, as if she had expected this very response.

"You affirm that you are of good health", she paraphrased my words with a peculiar intonation. "But you fail to perceive the fabric of this world in all its intricacy." Slowly and regretfully, she shook her head, like a Magistra in the monastery school who got a foolish answer from a novice to a very simple question. Then she took her hands out of the robe's sleeves and indicated me to follow her. Even her walk had something of another world about it. Her body did not move with her steps, but seemed to float. Silent and obedient, I followed her through the old ruin. Today, after I had gone through the vision in my thoughts many thousand times, I know that it was an old trading post. The walls and the rusty gate left no doubt about it. - But in the vision, I did not care about such banalities. To follow the figure in front of me was my sole purpose. She stopped in front of an old, overgrown tower, presumably once the heart of the ruin, and opened the cast-iron door, which swung aside in an eerie, silent manner.

"Go, Jaél", she said. "Go and perceive the truth." These were the last words I heard until the horrid discovery inside the ruin. For when I was about to reply, she was gone. For the first time, a feeling of uncertainty mingled with the confidence that I had at the beginning of the vision. I was still aware of the fact that my physical body was lying on a bed in a modest chamber, in another world. Also I knew that I could decide to wake from the wonderful and terrible vision. But I did not. Why? - I am unable to say. Was it out of curiosity? Was it the sense of fate that covered the ruin like a thin, transcendent sleeve? I don't know.

I entered. The floor felt cold under my naked feet, and the dusty air that was only lit by a pale red sunbeam made me cough as it filled my lungs. The inside was almost empty, except for spiderwebs, weathered furniture and broken stones that had fallen from the crumbling walls. In the middle there was a wooden construction, an extraordinarily large, upright box. Hesitantly, I walked closer. A word came to my head, but faded from my mind as fast as it had appeared. I recognized how the fire of the setting sun extinguished and how it was replaced by a dull blue. Gentle, hazy fog started to cover the scenery, and everything that was peaceful and blessed before I entered the ruin was replaced by a sense of trepidation. Creeping, cold, wasting.

My hand moved along the surface of the strange box that was slightly taller than me. The wood was decayed and gray, and an odd smell came from it, like iron. It was sweet and tempting, but at the same time repellant. Leave!, flashed through my head. Leave before you inflame it. I was unable to determine if it was I who thought these thoughts. But of course, I did not leave. Slowly my hand moved toward a gap at the side the of the box that allowed me to open its lid. As the hinge opened with a reluctant, mourning sound, I remembered the word that had slipped my mind. This time it did not vanish, it preserved in all its dreadfulness. The wooden construction in the middle of this abandoned ruin was no box. It was a coffin.

Even today I can hardly find the right words for the terror that stared at me from the decomposing inside of the coffin. Without any doubt, the creature before my very eyes was myself. There it was, the brown hair, thinning, even at the age of twenty-eight. There it was, the well-trimmed, dense beard that grew down to my chest, the beard that I grew to hide my unremarkable, longish face. And there it was, the crooked nose, giving my face a vulture-like appearance, making me avoid my own reflection in the mirror. But the body in the coffin was dead, clenched like in the moment of dying. Penned in like cattle, his head was pressed down to his shoulders by the small dimensions of the coffin, his unnatural posture a silent accusation. His body was pinched, his arms pressed to himself in a twisted manner. Much more gruesome, though, was the face. The skin was pale and had a greenish gray color like decayed tombstones. There were many deep fissures that were not bleeding, but displaying bare flesh and white bones. The beard was curly and wild, and maggots moved around in the tangled mesh, oozing a festering, doughy liquid that was dripping down to the stone floor. The man's cheeks were hollow, and his lacerated lips were opened in a twisted way that gave the impression of a tormented smile. His teeth were rotten and his tongue gray. But none of this was the reason for the bloodcurdling, panic-fuelled cry that escaped my throat. It was the eyes. Or, rather, it was the place where the eyes used to be on a healthy, living person.

But there were no eyes. Weak and pale like shrouds, the lids, devoid of any sense, hung over gaping black sockets. Contradicting any logic, they seemed to stare at me, whispering, rotting, and dead. The same festering liquid that came from the man's beard trickled down the brows and disappeared in the empty eye sockets. No... No words can describe the terror that filled me when I looked at that deformed creature.

In panic, I hit the withered copy of myself, but I only loosened the body so it fell right toward me. I felt how the repellent, festering corpse water from the beard touched my lips, while a handful of maggots landed on my shoulder. For a short moment I was petrified. I held myself in my arms, like a twin his own deceased brother. But this was no twin. When the maggots tried to move up my neck, I pushed the corpse away with a shrill cry, wiped away the maggots and fled out of the ruin.

Meanwhile, it was night, and the full moon stood cold, white and unmoving at the sky. The veil of mist that formed inside the ruin faded as soon as I came outside and let myself fall to the ground, crying and breathing heavily. I am dead, flashed through my mind, again and again. DEAD! I uttered a panicky scream, a pitiful effort to banish the madness from my mind. The terror remained, it was omnipresent, and I felt bitter tears making their way through my eyes. What, by the righteous path, does it mean? What kind of nightmare am I trapped in? Some might ask why I did not end the vision with the well-known physical stimulus, by pinching myself, even more so because I was fully aware of the unreality of what was happening. The answer is, I was unable to do it, and I knew it. What I went through was not one of the usual, nightly phantasms that occasionally haunt us in the quiet hours. Something that I later began to understand at least a little wanted to show me something, and I was unable to escape the truth, as little as man can escape the sands of time. As I turned my gaze from the floor and started to crouch toward the stone arch and the forest, weeping helplessly, I saw her again. The veiled woman. She stood above me and stared down at me, almost with sympathy. At least I assumed so, because despite the angle of my view, I was unable to recognize anything above her cheeks but the unnatural shadow of her hood.

"What are you?", I brought forth in a weak voice. "What by the Black Guardian's name are you? A demon? An angel of death?" It sounded pathetic, like the lament of a desperate child.

"You ask me what I am", she answered again, an echo of my pitiful words. "And you assume I am a black angel of your god, come upon you to punish you. But" - a touch of maternal tenderness accompanied her rough voice - "you ask the wrong question, Jaél. For who I am is not of importance."

For a moment I stared at her in confusion, unable to react to her enigmatic answer. I remained at the floor for a while, motionless, breathing frantically and panicky, looking at the veiled woman. After what felt like an eternity, I asked the question that needed to be asked.

"And what... what is the right question?"

For a brief moment, I saw what seemed to be a sad smile caress her red lips. "You inquire from me what only you can answer", she said and began to walk towards the stone arch. "And I want to give you an advice." She halted, looking like an unreal shape in the silver of the night. "An advice on how you can avoid the death of your soul." There was a moment of silence. "End your false life. And follow the fire."

Then the vision broke apart.

Related

See The Butcher of Ark Quest